On this Father’s Day

Father’s Day is a very special day. It is day where we can thank our dads for all the time and love they have given us over the years. A day where my kids can make me special drawings or a beautiful piece of abstract, post-modern macaroni art. However, there was a time that I thought this day would never come. We lost our first daughter after a brief 45 minutes of life. While that day and the months leading up to it did indeed make me a father, the day specifically designated to celebrate dads felt different the  following years. I knew I was a dad. I had a daughter. And while my wife did an amazing job of making me feel special that day, there was something missing. I missed the macaroni art. I missed the undercooked pancakes brought to me in bed as I heard the chaos happening in the kitchen. But I was still a dad.

I think this is what makes Father’s day so hard for Dads who have lost a child. Some sweep it under the rug like nothing happened.

And that’s fine.

Some celebrate the life of their child whether that be only in the womb, or for a short time on earth.

And that’s fine.

Whatever you are feeling, thinking, processing, …