Nine months pregnant and rushing to the hospital, everything runs wild in your brain. Did I get my bag? When will we get there? Who to call and when? When should I contact my photographer? It was July 1st, and we were anticipating the arrival of our second daughter. A healthy pregnancy. A super excited big sister. 

As we arrived and checked into the hospital, our lives shifted with devastating news I could not process. There was no heartbeat. I was about to be forced to learn how to live without my baby. I would deliver by cesarean and our second baby would be born sleeping or stillborn.  

In the moments after her delivery, I held my sleeping angel. I wanted to memorize every inch of her body, the way she felt, her sweet sleeping face.  I knew my arms would soon be empty. Her little body would need to rest. Although my newborn photographer was canceled, I desperately wanted to capture our moments with our angel. My nurse asked us if we would like a photographer to come and photograph our sweet, sleeping angel.  NILMDTS came to the hospital that evening. 

Margot Kate by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Carmen Bucka

The photographer was so very kind, patient, and offered us deep compassion.

Loss and grief clouded many of the details of those moments in the hospital, but our cherished photos remind me of how perfect she was at her birth and death. Because of the incredible service NILMDTS provides, we are able to forever treasure those moments with Margot Kate. We are able to look back and remember the details of her and the time we spent loving on her and memorizing everything we could. In those initial moments of grief, you are not sure what you need, but, we have found comfort knowing we will always be able to look back at our time with her because we said yes to NILMDTS coming that day. We are able to walk the halls of our home and see her sweet face and tell our daughter about her little sister. 

Margot Kate will forever live on. In our hearts, our dreams, and our family. Our love for her has made our family grow in strength, in love and the desire to live this life to the fullest. She taught us that so much can change just in one day and to be grateful for each new day we are given.

My angel baby, we love you and are grateful for the best and worst day when we got to meet you and the year that has forever changed us. I am grateful for the time we were given together. 

Every day we are inspired to live life in honor of her memory and to forever share her story.

Margot Kate by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Carmen Bucka

A picture is truly worth a thousand words… a thousand thoughts…a thousand kisses.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.