Lucky | Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

In life, we can count all the ways we are unlucky. My “unluckiest” moment could forever and always be that my baby died. My perfectly healthy, almost 30wk old baby had a perfectly tragic umbilical cord accident. An accident in the one place I thought she was the safest, yet the one place I couldn’t save her. Unlucky. Giving birth to a baby you won’t get to take home. Unlucky. Giving birth during Covid times where no family can come to visit. Unlucky. Not being allowed to use the services of Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (due to Covid). Unlucky. Being denied getting the best photographs/poses in a moment that will forever be frozen in time. Unlucky. Since your baby who is born won’t grow anymore… Unlucky.

Or we can count the ways we are still lucky, even amidst the most traumatic of times. I have a really nice phone with good pictures taking capabilities. Lucky. I had someone tell me to take all the photos I could because you will cherish them every day. Lucky. I had someone who captured moments when we weren’t capable of taking photos ourselves. Lucky. I had a nurse who put Maisie in a few poses to capture her essence. Lucky. When you find out NILMDTS offers beautiful retouching services for those who don’t get a photographer. Lucky. When someone you know tells you, “Maisie is actually the reason I started volunteering with NILMDTS.” Lucky. My daughter, who never filled her lungs with air, still is leaving an impact on this world. Lucky.

Maisie Martha Ofsthun – I would never consider a single moment with you to be unlucky. You are my child, you are my love, you are my daughter and I am your mother. Though our time together will forever be woefully short, not a day goes by where you don’t cross my mind.

Thank you NILMDTS for taking the photos I provided and bringing your soft touch to our precious moments. We didn’t know how fast Maisie would change after birth… so many of our photos didn’t catch her in her prime. But you helped take some of our special photos and give them some extra love.