The week before Christmas 2023, I took a pregnancy test and to my surprise it was positive. We were so excited! This was the first pregnancy my husband would be here for, as he was serving in the military during our other pregnancies. Everything went to plan, we had a completely healthy and normal pregnancy. 

Katie Meyer by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Melanie Rodger

On August 5, 2023, I noticed that Katie wasn’t moving and called the hospital. They told me to come in and get checked out. I wasn’t even thinking that something could be wrong. They started with the doppler and after 3 different unsuccessful attempts of finding her heartbeat we had an ultrasound to confirm. She had passed away. I knew from that first attempt of finding her heartbeat that she was gone but I didn’t want to believe it. 

I called my mom to let her know what was happening and she came quickly to the hospital. My hospital room was suddenly filled with family all around me. My siblings, their spouses, everyone came to support my husband and I. 

I had a normal and uncomplicated labor. By 10am the following morning, I was ready to push. Katie was born sleeping at 10:22am on August 6th. Everything about her was perfect. They wrapped her up in a normal hospital baby blanket and gave her to us to spend time together. Our nurse came in and gently asked if we would be interested in Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep coming in to help capture photos. We had never heard of NILMDTS but immediately said yes. The nurse called and said someone could be there at 6pm and we said great, we were willing to wait. 

Katie Meyer by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Melanie Rodger

Not only did we want these photos, we NEEDED them because they would be the only set of pictures we would ever have of her. 

Shortly after agreeing, we got an update from our nurse that they had a photographer who could come at 3 pm instead so I got up, showered and got ready.

Melanie was there and ready to start when I got out of the shower. She was careful and gentle with Katie, talking to her and gently posing her with a lot of intent and care. She took some pictures of her on her own in her little diaper and then wrapped in a blanket. Melanie patiently and gently helped my husband dress her in the outfit we had brought. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, afraid I was going to hurt her little body. 

It was hard taking these photos. Knowing it was the only time we would have as a family and we didn’t know what to do or how to hold her. We were so relieved that Melanie was able to tell us what to do, how to hold her but also pointing out the details of her little toes, or her ears and making it an experience where we were able to really see our baby. Her empathy and compassion during this experience has left a lasting impact on us and the way we remember our time with Katie. 

We are so grateful we said yes to those photos that day. We have them hung up in every room in our house, a beautiful book with all of the photos in our living room, and even have them up by Katie’s grave. 

If it wasn’t for NILMDTS, we wouldn’t have photos or memories like the ones we have with her. We can’t thank NILMDTS enough for the work that they do in supporting families and helping them honor their babies. 

Katie Meyer by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Melanie Rodger

From NILMDTS Photographer, Melanie Rodger- 

It’s a fine balance showing up in spaces like these when you’ve been on the other side before. Gently telling parents the answers to their questions on what’s normal in their situation. Mentioning things to do or ways to hold their baby when you never did them with your own. Encouraging them, loving them, guiding them, and showing up for them in ways people didn’t for you.

But it’s a balance I’ve gotten very comfortable navigating and I am always happy I get to be the one doing this for them. 

Each baby I photograph holds a special place in my heart, and I am honored when I get to step foot into this space and love on and hold these babies with their families. I always strive for each parent to feel comfortable spending time with their baby and helping them memorize all of the features of their babies. 

I was beyond honored to meet Katie and her family. 

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.