My journey to motherhood began in an unexpected and challenging way. At 33 years old, I faced a health scare when a mass in my bladder led doctors to believe it was cancer. After surgery, they discovered it was stage 4 endometriosis. That diagnosis brought more surgeries and a realization—I didn’t want to wait any longer to become a mother.

I hadn’t yet met the right partner, but with everything life had thrown at me, I knew I couldn’t put off my dream. I chose to embark on the path of becoming a single mom by choice, turning to a donor to make that dream a reality. After three rounds of IVF and one failed transfer of two embryos, I had just one little frozen embryo left. That single embryo became my miracle.

From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I was filled with joy and an overwhelming love I had never known before. Even on the day of the embryo transfer, I felt it in my heart—this miracle was a girl. At 12 weeks, my intuition was confirmed, and my biggest dream was coming true. I was having a baby girl.

I had her name picked out since I was 17 years old, and knowing I would finally meet her was like watching my lifelong dream unfold. My pregnancy was filled with happiness, and I cherished every moment of seeing her grow. My friends, family, and coworkers celebrated with two beautiful baby showers, and I poured my heart into creating the perfect nursery. Everything was for her—I wanted her world to be as magical as she already was to me.

But on November 13, 2023, my perfect pregnancy took a heartbreaking turn. Just nine days before my planned C-section, I heard the words no mother ever wants to hear: “I’m so sorry, there’s no heartbeat.”

In that moment, my world shattered. The loss of my daughter, Brielle Aliyah Wade, was the most profound pain I’ve ever known. She was born as an angel, and when I saw her, I was overcome by how beautiful she was. She was everything I had dreamed of and more.

In the midst of my grief, I am profoundly grateful to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Their gift of remembrance photography means the world to me. These photos are my most treasured keepsake, allowing me to see her sweet face every day. They bring me comfort and connection to Brielle in ways I can’t fully express.

Although Brielle is no longer in my arms, I feel her presence every day. Her spirit is my strength, and I know she will guide me to her rainbow siblings in the future. I plan to honor her memory by starting a nonprofit in her name to support other mothers and families who have endured such unimaginable loss.

My purpose now is clear: to honor Brielle’s legacy by spreading love, light, and hope. I say her name as often as I can, carrying her with me in everything I do. She is my heart, my inspiration, and my reason to keep going.

Brielle Aliyah Wade, you are forever my dream come true.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.